Monday, 10 October 2011

How to Cope with Your Partner Leaving...

How to Cope with Your Partner Leaving...
I’ve had my share of heart breaks 'n understand what it feels like to be on the receiving end. It hurts, it really hurts. You feel like it’s the end of the world, 'n you wonder how you can possibly get over it. You will feel pain 'n despair, but I promise you, you will get over it. Time is the magic ingredient.
I will have an in depth article on this topic soon. For now, here are some pointers for those on the receiving end of breakups. These have been helpful for me in the past.


Talk With Friends – In verbalizing your thoughts 'n options, you’ll gain better understanding 'n perspective.

    Surround Yourself with Positive Energy – Be surrounded by friends 'n family. Be around happy 'n optimistic people. Be around people you like. Be around people who can make you laugh.

    Love Yourself – Spend time inwards with loving yourself. Doing things to appreciate 'n love yourself will help you gain the self confidence 'n independence you need to heal. When was the last time you really appreciated yourself?

    It’s Okay to Cry – In fact, I recommend it. Express the pain 'n let it all out. Don’t hold anything back, cry fully. Letting it out will be liberating for your being. It’s okay to cry.

    Find the Lesson – What did you learn through this relationship? I’m a big believer that good can come out of every situation, even ones we’ve perceived as bad. Focus on what you’ve gained in life lessons that you wouldn’t have learned otherwise.

    Fully Experiencing the Pain – When pain strikes, our instinct is to avoid it. We distract ourselves with other tasks while suppressing the pain. This doesn’t actually make the pain go away. “What we resist, persists.” The best way to deal with the pain is by fully facing it. Closing your eyes, fully experience that feeling of sharp pain within your being, 'n become the observer of that pain within you. Separate the observer from the pain.

    Gratitude Visualization – Put your hands on your heart 'n gently shut your eyes. Visualize all the things, experiences, 'n people that you are thankful for. If you are visualizing a person, see their face smiling at you with joy 'n kindness. Give thanks for all the things we take for granted, parts of our body, the things we enjoy about our jobs, people who love us. Give thanks to your heart, which works continuously, without which we wouldn’t be here. Give thanks to our safe homes, the abundance of food, 'n clothing to keep us warm. Give thanks to people who have been kind to us. Give thanks to authors who have inspired us. Gratitude puts you in a state of love, acceptance 'n understanding.

    Benefits to Me? – Focus on how this new situation can help you. Maybe you will now have the free time to pursue something that’s important to you. Maybe you can gain the independence 'n freedom you’ve wanted to experience for yourself.

    Time Heals – After the initial shock has sunk in 'n you’ve had plenty of communication with your ex, take time to be separated from your ex partner. It’s hard to gain clarity, perspectives 'n independence while being reminded of them constantly. I recommend taking a few weeks to be apart: no meeting, no emails, no phone calls. With time, you will heal.

    Silence Heals – Sit silently 'n observe your emotions 'n thoughts. Have a journal 'n pen at your side. When you have a realization, write it down in your journal. Use journaling as a tool to help you sort out your thoughts. It has the power to help you gain clarity.


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